Here’s a bold statement: the secret to success isn’t just hard work or talent—it’s wellbeing. But here’s where it gets controversial: prioritizing how we feel emotionally and mentally might just be the game-changer we’ve all overlooked. Whether at home, school, or work, young people thrive when they feel supported, positive, and secure. And this is the part most people miss—it’s not just about academic or professional achievements; it’s about creating an environment where growth can naturally flourish.
Nathan Chisholm, Deputy Principal of Wellbeing at Haileybury, puts it this way: ‘Student wellbeing and high academic performance are mutually reinforcing.’ With 15 years of experience leading schools, including his role as Executive Principal of Prahran High School, Nathan knows what he’s talking about. He’s seen firsthand how environments that foster safety, support, and connection lead to sustained excellence. ‘When high expectations are paired with strong relationships and genuine care,’ he explains, ‘students are set up to succeed.’
But here’s the science behind it: Neuroscience tells us that when a child feels threatened emotionally or psychologically, their brain’s stress response kicks in, diverting energy away from the prefrontal cortex—the area responsible for reasoning and problem-solving. In simpler terms? If kids don’t feel safe, they can’t learn effectively. Strong relationships, predictable routines, and calm expectations create the ideal conditions for them to relax and absorb knowledge.
‘True wellbeing,’ Nathan adds, ‘is about the quality of relationships and the security they provide. When students know they’re safe, seen, and cared for, that’s when wellbeing truly comes alive.’
So, how can parents and caregivers use this knowledge to support their children’s growth? Here are six science-backed strategies—simple yet powerful:
Reframe mistakes as learning opportunities: Normalize errors as part of life. Empathize with how mistakes might make a child feel, but also teach them not to dwell on failures. For example, if they stumble over a math problem, highlight how each mistake brings them closer to the solution.
Limit screen time intentionally: Encourage breaks from screens to foster real-life interactions with friends, family, and caregivers. The Raising Children Network offers age-specific guidelines (https://raisingchildren.net.au/babies/play-learning/media-technology/screen-time) to help strike the right balance.
Prioritize playtime: Play isn’t just fun—it’s how children learn social skills, problem-solving, and relationship-building. Think of it as their ‘work,’ essential for both development and wellbeing.
Establish predictable routines: Whether it’s bedtime or homework time, routines provide certainty. For instance, a consistent morning routine can set a calm tone for the entire day, making transitions smoother and less stressful.
Set clear, consistent expectations: Children thrive when they know what’s expected of them. For example, a rule like ‘screens only after chores’ teaches responsibility while providing structure.
Read together regularly: Reading with young children isn’t just about literacy—it’s a bonding activity. Discuss the story, ask questions, and make it interactive to deepen the connection.
Now, here’s the controversial question: In a world that often prioritizes performance over wellbeing, are we doing enough to create environments where both can thrive? Share your thoughts in the comments—let’s spark a conversation about what truly drives success.
