BLOND FROM BIRTH
 

   LONG VERSION
 

 

  A few years ago I slowly began to realize that I have been a victim of prejudice. It has been occurring my whole life and somehow I didn’t realize it. Millions of others similar to myself have also suffered because of it. It is the most widespread approved of prejudice in the world today. Huge sums of money are created because of it. North America is the center of it, but it happens everywhere. You have probably contributed to it, along with millions of others., and yet I am the first one that I know of who has spoken out against it.
It’s a quiet prejudice. No one yells at us. It’s a strange prejudice, because we are judged inferior by our looks, and yet the racists try to mimic our appearance. Our men, women, and children are judged everyday because of it, and no one thinks they are wrong, except us, and we do not say anything. We are being nice, instead of good.

I’ll give you a little quiz. Which of the following is done everyday.
· Someone has a basketball game to play so they cover themselves with brown shoe polish to be a better player.
· Someone has to do their taxes so they slant their eyes to look Asian so that they’re able to do math better.
· Someone wants to look sexy or freaky so they dye their hair yellow, because everyone knows Blondes are wacko.

  The first two would be seen as prejudicial against a group of people. The third example is done every day. It’s so common that it’s truth is not even doubted. It is not even a thought to be wondered about. The stereotype is as complete as any stereotype ever was.
  Not only is it tolerated, but it’s accepted and encouraged. Yet no woman or man dyes their hair yellow to gain positive qualities. It is done to gain an image of bad qualities. These Dye-jobs ‘know’ what the image is. Prostitutes look more sluttish, and their customers tell them they are. Bimbos need it for that bimbo look. Homosexuals look more funish, Dopers look more dopey, and Bitches look bitchier. Rednecks wives look more redneck in their giant yellow boufounts. Transvestites always slap on a yellow wig to look like the dye-job movie star they’re mimicking. Then there’s the goofy half yellow with black roots look. I don’t know what that is. Perhaps it's just proof of membership in the club.
  None of these people dye their hair to look more intelligent. I smiled myself as I wrote that, and I have a pretty high IQ. None of them are trying to promote the idea of Scandinavians as better people or yellow hair as a sign of good character. They are using it as a symbol for their own mental problems. It is a symbol of a club they wish to join, while ignoring those given it from birth. They use it to be a freak, while denying that they are freaks.

  Part of this attitude is the fault of Scandinavians. We do nothing to promote this blond hair as a racial characteristic, or to establish it , or even to be aware of ourselves as a racial type. We are constantly told that we are just ‘white’, both by ourselves and by other racial groups.
  Racists love the word white. "The White Race is this or that", they say, as if we gave them the power of attorney to speak for all of us. They feel comforted to be part of a big undetermined group called White. They swing it like a club. They expect us all to be blindly on their side solely because of skin shading. This makes other racists say "whites are bad" as if we all got together to do the bad deeds of a few.
  I have some bad news for both of these teams. There is no such thing as a white race! Furthermore, I have looked on maps and in old atlases and there is no country called White, and there never was. Nor was there a religion by that name.
 How this idea got started is a good question. Certainly it made no sense for Europeans to call each other white. They are all whitish and yet they have been fighting each other for thousands of years. They fought each other more than any other group.
  Perhaps when the people from Europe had been in North America for a while they had some reason to deny that they were European, and their light skin proved to be the only common point they could come up with. Then when darker skinned types showed up there was no choice but to be prejudiced against them. Or maybe it was the opposite. Perhaps the various non-european groups came up with the name as a derogatory way to speak of their new neighbors.
  Here in North America there is no race, yet. So far the people have just been on an extended camping trip away from their ancestors home countries. Personally, I don’t think it ever will develop one. Modern society won’t allow the calm isolation needed for one to gel. 'White' is just a substitute. Perhaps the white racists are just jealous of all those who have a race to be part of. Denying their past has left them diminished.
  I think we all need a past to give us some kind of foundation. Italians know of their past, and a certain amount of their language. So do Jews, Chinese, Egyptians, Africans, and dozens of other races and cultures. For some reason we Scandinavians have become so unknowing about our past.
  If asked, all I knew was that about a thousand years ago there were Vikings. They were all men. They rowed around and had swords and had no home life, which was kind of funny because they were always taking away women to somewhere. For some reason the word got out that they glued cow horns to their heads. One day they all disappeared and were never seen again.
  You may be amazed that most of this is wrong. A little research uncovered that there are females who had Viking ancestors, and some of those ancestors were also women. These Norse people had normal lives. Most were farmers. Their religion said nothing about pillaging. Instead, it required that they fight evil here on earth to get to Valhalla. They didn’t disappear. Scandinavia is plum full of them, and there are a few in other parts of the world too.
  You may find this strange if you have heard the official version of Vikings. Remember though, that these history books were written by their enemies, or victims, if you like. These were rich people who had been obeyed from birth and did not like outsiders dumping them on their asses. The stories they wrote never told the Vikings side. The Norse did have a written language called Runes. Unfortunately they did most of their writing on wood, which rotted away over the centuries. Most of what we know of them was retold verbally over the centuries, and I guess they weren’t too interested in Public Relations.
  It’s interesting to note that all the stories of the ancient Mediterranean cultures are Iliad’s and Odysseys, full of heroes, while ancient Norse are just plunderers. Do you really think an army invaded Troy and attacked it for 20 years only to help some guy get his wife back? They were there to take stuff home. The Vikings were the same. Only the official version was different. I doubt that they were Evil. I’m not saying no women were taken, but I have a feeling that just like sports groupies and authority groupies nowadays, there were plenty of Viking groupies to choose from back then. Some people seem to have an attraction to blondes.
  Many things you know of in our world would sound familiar to the Norse. Their religion had an underworld called the Underworld, and Hel was in charge of it. Hel was a beautiful woman at the top, turning to rotten flesh lower down. She survived off of those who didn’t die a noble death. ( If she’s still around she must be pretty fat nowadays.)
  Loki was full of lies and trickery. Despite constantly doing evil he was never punished too harshly. He once made Thors' wifes' hair fall out and had to replace it with living fine spun gold, before Thor could kill him. Eventually he killed Balder, the god of light and truth, and was banished. There, he wills his evil into the hearts and minds of all people.
  Probably, none of them thought cows’ horns were any more scary than we do. ( Run! It’s a bunch of cows with swords! Aaaghh!! ) In fact, the cow horns idea is a modern prejudice, not a historical one. It has only appeared in the last hundred years, along with the spread of the dye-jobs.
  Over fifty thousand English words came from Scandinavia, including wife, and yegg, I mean egg. Four others your might know are Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. These are days named after Norse gods. (I think the other days are named after roman gods.) Strange that there is no Moses day or Jesus day in our calendar. What kind of strange quirk made these names the choice for the days of the week in a christian world? I wonder if the other religions know they are honoring pagan gods?
  Tuesday is Tyr’s day, the god of war. Woden, or Odin, is next. He’s the head god. He once had an adventure to be able to see into the future, and then was dismayed to see that Evil would eventually win the world from Good. Thor is the god of thunder, and of comic book heroes, I think. Friday is in honor of Freya, the goddess of love. This was probably the origin of the phrase "Thank god it’s Freyday!!"
  Old schoolbooks say the Vikings disappeared when they turned Christian. Somehow, Christianity just instantly mellowed them out, dude. Right. Just like all those other medieval Christians like the Crusaders, Conquistadors, and Anglo-Saxons. Christianity didn’t seem to mellow any group since the 3rd century. So did the Norse stop being Vikings or were they ever ‘Vikings’ to begin with?
  If so, what happened to those people? A thousand years ago Blond men were murderous savages, and yet now they are weak, wimpy, cowardly, weird, freaks or faggots. That’s quite a dramatic genetic change! Perhaps the originals were taken away on a UFO and replaced with new variety bred for niceness.
  Where did blond people come from in the first place?
  Scientists say that the ancient Norse became blond and blue eyed because they lived in the snow throughout an ice age, and then in areas with long winters. Somehow the snow ‘bleached’ them. If that is true then how do they explain the North American Indian, and the Inuit, and Sami, and the natives of Siberia? They all lived through an ice age in a winter climate, and frankly, I can’t see the least bit of blond in them.
 Is our coloring a genetic adaptation, or just a racial trait? Asians have ‘almond eyes’ and flatter faces., but what function does it serve? Does it help them with math? No. Perhaps appearance can be deceiving.
  As I said at the beginning, I became fully aware of this slowly. Originally the extent of this prejudice wasn’t really apparent. Once in awhile somebody would tell a "blond joke" right in front of me, barely concealing their joy at the idiotic actions in the subject of their anecdote, and then wonder at my blank response. But of course they didn’t mean me. I’m a guy. All blond jokes are also assumed to be about our women. This makes them sexist as well as racist.
 Years later, once I started to look at it I realized that these attitudes were spreading all over. They came over fax machines, the radio, and in the newspaper. TV lives by them, in every show on every channel. One columnist in the local Sun newspaper is positively addicted to them, and he looks light haired himself.
  Then, there came a period of a few months when I was pounded on the head by repetitive instances. In a bar a waitress forget my drink and said that she must have had a blond moment. As she was brown haired I told her she must have had a brunette moment instead, and she looked insulted for some reason. Soon after I was in my car at an unusual time and heard the DJ say that this weeks "blond moments contest" was about to air. Contestants would phone in and tell how they did something stupid, like a blond would do.
  This was a blow to me that finally made me overcome my inertia. I phoned around to government agencies to find out who to complain to. I spoke to an East Indian and with an admittedly trembling voice told him the story. He thought about it and said it sounded racist to him, but not his department. If it was an individual or printed matter that was one thing , but since it came over the airwaves it was the Broadcast Standards Council I needed. After phoning them and being held and shuffled around they sent me the forms from one end of the country and I had to send them to the capital at the other end.
  In my complaint I pointed out several points mentioned already along with my opinion that I doubted that people tell blond jokes in Scandinavia. I pointed out that no one has lazy African or sneaky Asian contests. I wondered about the effect that this type of general attitude would have on blond kids, especially the girls. Many millions of them are exposed to this training daily. A blond girl might think about being a doctor but the television and other media constantly tells her she has to grow up to be a stupid slut. The same shows tell others how to treat the blondes, and so soon everyone they meet follows the script.
  About a month later the response came from the radio station. Basically they said that they didn’t do it, and they promise they wouldn’t do it again, so please forget the whole thing. They also said that they were only giving the listeners a chance to laugh at themselves. Did they verify that all the contestants were Scandinavian? If they weren’t, then they were not laughing at themselves, they were trying to win a contest prize in exchange for humiliating people born blond. They get the profit while we get the burden.
  It sounded as if they were blaming me for not having a sense of humour. I wrote back to the BSC and said this and asked rhetorically if Blacks laugh at nigger jokes, or if women who are raped are at fault because they didn’t want to enjoy it when someone wanted to screw with them. The media equates blondness with weirdness, and so the truly weird dye their hair and thereby create a self-fulfilling proof to the media and the world. Many middle age men think blond means bimbo and most bimbos think blond means bimbo as well.
  As this process was moving along the radio station renamed the contest "embarrass yourself". People with different ancestors must have wanted to show they were stupid too.
  About this time I wrote to the newspaper and asked them to stop with the blond jokes, or to rename them ‘bleached-blondes’, or maybe ‘columnists wife’ jokes. There was no response and no change either. Perhaps they didn’t want to insult anyone.
  A few months passed. One day I was walking into a washroom in a park when an early teen began his comedy routine for his friends. When I came out I was dismayed to hear that it consisted of nothing but blond jokes he had memorized. The girl who laughed the most had dyed hair the color of a hi-liner. The one who didn’t was naturally light haired.
  He continued on with this blond man standing right in front of him. A few of the others picked up on this. Most didn’t. Finally I spoke up and tried to say calmly that if the jokes were about Blacks or Jews it would be wrong to be telling them, and that blond hair is the birthmark of people too, no matter what the TV says. I should have also told him that the best comedians make fun of themselves, not other people, but it was my first time speaking out on the subject to a group, and I was a little clouded.
  As I turned to go there stood a full grown idiot glaring at me. His hair was yellow on top and black underneath, giving it the appearance of a used paintbrush. He must of heard me speak and was looking at me as if I had insulted him. There was a brief urge to bust him in the mouth, but I didn’t want the kids to think I was a weirdo or something. After I left, did the kids think about what was said, or laugh at my back?
   Soon after a letter came by courier. It was six pages of decision by the Council. They repeated the whole story and then quoted the Code of Ethics, Clause 2 (Human Rights)


Recognizing that every person has a right to full and equal recognition and to enjoy certain fundamental rights and freedoms, broadcasters shall endeavor to ensure, to the best of their ability, that their programming contains no abusive or discriminatory material or comment which is based on matters of race, national or ethnic origin, color, religion, age, sex, marital status or physical or mental handicap.


 This sounded good to me so far. However they went on to say that my complaint did not violate any of those things. Having Scandinavian ancestors is not racial, national, or ethnic, or a matter of color!
  They went on to say that not all blondes are Scandinavian. I suppose there are several European types that have blondes amongst them. I could argue that these people all had Norse blood in their past, but let’s say they’re right. Still, all people born blond were born blond, right? Why should they be laughed at because of it?
Some Europeans are capable of getting a dark tan, yet they do not become African. Many Black people have never been in Africa. Does this refute that Africans are know by their skin color? Can I call these people by racial slurs, since they are not African? Is an African born in the states not a member of the black race?
Not all french speakers are French, and yet they say that speaking French is proof of a culture.
  They went on to say that hair color is not specifically protected, and the nearest example was a ruling concerning homosexuals stating that it was a "deeply personal characteristic that is either unchangeable or changeable only at unacceptable personal costs." I don't really see the meaning of this, but the Council did not think this applied to blond hair either.
  You may notice that homosexuals have been ruled more rights under the law than my race! I did, just as I notice being judged as one of them because I have blond hair. I mean, why else would I have blond hair? I must be homosexual.
  Homosexuals, which I see as a white boys club with no ethnic or race connection, have given testimony that they are special. Well, We have evidence to the same effect. It’s there on top of our heads! Genetic proof of our uniqueness! It is a personal characteristic that cannot be changed without personal costs!
  I have the feeling that the council members are saying that if I don’t like how the dye-jobs have corrupted the image of my race then I should dye my hair black to look like the dye-jobs race. If that isn’t government logic I don’t know what is. I like my ancestors and want to be part of their ethnic origin. Besides, there really is no other honest choice, is there?
  The council then said having blond hair was an occupation or profession. An occupation! I think they may be confusing Scandinavians with the prostitutes they visit. If being blond is an occupation then I am owed several decades backpay, because I have been doing it for free. If any of you other blondes out there are being paid please tell me what form to fill out. (The overtime will be a killer!)
  To refute these ridiculous decisions, I can think of many examples of hair as an identifier. Do you know what group uses black hair hidden by a small beanie type hat? How about curly black hair, or straight black hair in braids with a feather? Monks shave their heads to show they are in a particular group, and soldiers get a pig shave for the same reason. Hair has been used as a signifier for millenia. Yet most of the above are only haircuts, not an appearance given from birth.
  If the dye-jobs aren’t copying us then why did they choose yellow hair? They could have said pink hair for prostitutes, blue for bimbos, green for light hearted men, and so on. It isn’t random. They know the image of blondes covers all weirdness. Our women are giggly slut bimbos, and the men are weak doper fags. The dye-jobs can be as weird as they wanna be, and tell themselves it’s the hair that doing it, not them.
  The council finished up by ruling that nothing bad had happened, and bolstered their point of view by pointing out that the song ‘Achtung Baby’ was not a nazi song. I don’t what that means. I would like to comment on this council but Clause 2 says I can’t make fun of the mentally handicapped.
  So round 1 is over. It’s open season for blond jokes! They are now government approved and they have me to thank for it! Blond people have no past and apparently have been hatched in a laboratory or something. Silly me, thinking we were part of the Human Race.

  A few days later I had a pleasant surprise. There was a small article on page C5 of a local newspaper. The Canadian Press had picked up the result of my complaint and gave an eight paragraph synopsis. They even tried to contact the radio station, but no executives were available for comment. This was unexpected and delightful. I realized that filing the complaint, and the story in the paper, have at least spread the word to people who haven’t thought of it before.

  I can understand their desire to do nothing about this. Nothing is always easier. Doing something is hard, and you can easily see how big this thing has to get to be finished. The dye-jobs are everywhere. Dye companies make fortunes off of them. Hollywood is dye-job central. Politicians wives are dye-jobs, and their hookers as well. They are in government offices and businesses. Some probably work at the watchdogs where I sent my complaint. Yellow hair is backed by big bucks. Yellow hair is too big for the Regional Council to bark at.
  Many years ago there used to be entertainment called minstrel shows. In them, black faced performers did various comedy and dancing routines. The truth is that none of them were actually Blacks, partly because it was felt that Africans didn’t know how to act like ‘proper blacks’. They weren’t able to portray the stereotype as everyone wanted to see. What the dye-jobs are doing now is a yellow minstrel show, performing the parts that no blonde person would do ‘properly’.
 It’s an odd prejudice really. The media always shows blondes in a bad light, and yet millions of people want to dye their hair to look like us. Is this a comment about society, or people? Do they hate themselves as well as us?
  In a way, they complementing us. By dyeing their hair they are saying they wish they had our ancestors instead of theirs. They think we are so much prettier than them they want to resemble us. Our women are so much more pretty than theirs.We are so much more talented than them they need to pretend they are us. They are racists against their own race!
  Then they get it all wrong and portray us with every bad quality they had before the bleach. Dye-job women have the lowest morals and the biggest mouths, which is exactly the opposite of the genuine article. Then they become annoyed when the real thing doesn’t act like the copy. The image in the mirror can’t change their character, I guess. Perhaps they need brain bleach instead.

  Recently a motorcycle company came out with a bike that has Freya on the side of it. (Besides being the goddess of love, she is also head of the Valkyrs.) There she is with long flowing hair, a youthful face, and cow horns coming out of her skull. Hey guys, are you respecting or insulting her? Why are you using a religious symbol to sell bikes? Oh well, I suppose they are going to say it is the perfect bike for Friday. By the way, be sure to wear your helmet. Valkyrie means ‘chooser of the dead’, not ‘fabulous babe’.

  I’ve spoken to a few types of people about this whole thing, and their support seems to be based on how much their group dye their hair. East Indians are the most agreeable to it. I have also never seen an East Indian with dyed hair. They seem to be content with their ancestors. European based types are the worst, and they dye the most. A few Asians do it, and some North American Indians, but the next highest group is the American Blacks. I find that strange, based on their own history of racist discrimination.
  When I started writing this down I went out into the Internet to find anything similar. I didn’t. A search for Norse brings up Vikings. Vikings brings up Norse. Scandinavia gives me vacation information. Blond tells me how to dye my hair. I know others feel the same way, so where are they?
  Why haven’t we got any kind of lobbying going on? Every tiny splinter group these days has organized themselves to bend politicians ears, but not us. Where are we? Too timid? Too stupid? We need to get something going. We have to spread the word, then sue. Sure it’s whining, but it’s a Whiner World these days. There are Rights to be won, and big bucks as well. From the Hair Dye pushers to the Screen Actors Guild; who portrays us as weirdo’s, all the worst offenders are loaded. The spread of blond stereotyping coincides perfectly with the rise of Hollywood. Their money has been made at our expense, and we should tear it loose from them. Just like our ancestors, we should take the only thing they love: Money.
  Okay, all you blond haired people out there. Do you realize what is happening? Are you being judged by the media image instead of yourself? Should the dye-jobs continue to dictate who we are? Have you been acting as you think blondes are supposed to act or have you been altering your persona to veer far away from any behavior remotely like the stereotype? Do you realize that other people have been judging you because of the hair you were born with? It’s difficult for us to be identified as a race when the dye-jobs may outnumber us.
Now, you Scandinavian people out there all over the world. Can you see that you are part of a culture that is almost lost? Will you make an effort to keep your ancestors alive? We are not "White" and We are not European. We are an ethnic race as much as an of the others, with our own quirks and prides. The dye-jobs and their masters don’t care about their ancestors, or ours.
  So, to all the rest of you. Are you capable of seeing what I am talking about? Do the dye jobs in your office outnumber the Scandinavians? I know your personnel offices always have some. They judge us when we apply for jobs. Can you see that there is no such thing as a white race? The word is only a tool for the racists. Can you see your guilt, and admit it? Will you help or hinder.
  Do you think I have been harsh? Have I said some things that seem racist? Good. At least I’ve caught your attention. These ideas must have been said before by others, but they must have been said to damn politely. If you have a race so must I. Dye-jobs are no race, and have no culture. They are a Product, and I can like products or hate them. I will say whatever I want about them. I have been the victim of racism, and I’m sick of it.